Thursday, June 29, 2006

Osmania Biscuit XIII--- Raakshas Mama

It is said that the much feared Shani doesnt come near people who take up Ayyappa deeksha, and wearing black clothes (black shirt, black lungi, black etc) was a sign for him to recognise those that he cant touch!
Ever since that incident before Deepaavali, Raakshas Mama has come to fear Lingam. And this, in fact had a very negative effect on Lingam who has, of late, become one of the most timid fellows! Even when some prankster (whistle-blower to be more precise) wrote "Rekha loves Jaffer" on our compund wall (Jaffer being the son of our cleaning maid, and Rekha, the daughter of one of our neighbours, apparently our distant relatives), he was very tight-lipped about it, while my parents made a huge ruckus about it in the colony.

Raakshas Mama is the name my father gave to a gentleman belonging to the huge family that occupies the whole of the front view from our home. He was the eldest son-in-law of the patriarch, known as "Head-Master"(now no more, MHSRIP). Apparently, he had one of the biggest sizes of the (decaying) teeth my father ever saw (with huge cavities), and his voice seemed like the braying of a confused male donkey mistakenly caught up in menstrual problems. Hence the name! And then the fact that whenever he used to meet my father over a cigarette at Yadagiri's shop (Lingam doesnt sell them!), he always used to greet my father with a "Namaskaar, bolaa!" in Marathi (in Telugu-- namaskaaram, cheppandi!) which he picked up from somewhere, having worked in the railways, and my father, being the courteous one, had to cook up some story all the time... but it was seriously getting on him... even if he met him every single evening, the same sentence...
"Namaskaar, bolaa!"
"Arey! what else does he expect me to tell.. I have told him everything from the shaving cream and the hair dye I use to the inside information on how to find out genuine mysore sandal soaps!" And he started avoiding him.
My father later found out from another frequenter at Yadagiri shop (he is not among us as well, MHSRIP) that it was just Raakshas Mama's way saying "Hi" and he didnt expect any information in return!! A huge sigh of relief!!
Ahem! So.. anyway, Raakshas Mama is an ardent devotee of Ayyappa, and never fails to take up the deeksha. It was also the Deepaavali season. So, one fine evening, our Lingam here got very curious about a new type of cracker called "air force". It was very small... like a tiny round box. He was told that it shoots up straight into the sky, like a rocket! It seemed absolutely impossible to him.. how can such a small device shoot up into the sky! Well, he took one out, and lit it on the side of the road.

Misfortune, it seems, has her own ways of manifesting herself where there is absolutely no need of her. Walking just beside was our own beloved Raakshas Mama, and the air force betrayed its supposed wont-- instead of shooting up, it went straight into Raakshas Mama's black Ayyappa lungi.
I have never heard such a loud howl... I came out running, and there I saw Lingam trying to get something out of Rakshas Mama's lungi... I didnt want to know what at that time... it seemed very iffy! I still cant forget the sight.
All said and done, Raakshas Mama developed a thorough mixture of hatred and fear towards both "air force" and Lingam. And Lingam... well, he was crushed beyond imagination. He didnt show his face throughout the Deepaavali season. And to add salt to his wounds, the rest of the "air force" devices didnt do anything strange... just went straight up, which made some theorise that Lingam had a "hand" in air-force goin up Raakshas Mama's lungi.
Raakshas Mama is (also) no longer amidst us. He passed away just a couple of months ago. He was found dead one afternoon in his apartment by one of his nephews. Heart Failure.

Farewell Raakshas Mama!
MYSRIP (May Your Soul rest In Peace).


Kalyan said...


I have no words to express of how I am amazed to see this beautiful blog of urs and the content it holds.

Kudos to u on ur enchanting writeups.

I think u added another activity to my day-to-day check list.

Hope to catch u online sometime soon.


Gandaragolaka said...

Namaste anna!
edo... nadipistunna..

yadbhavishya said...

hilarious!! long-live lingam and his deep ad(venture)s.

it is very interesting that there is a raakshas mama (with an alias, though) in every colony. and the "air-force" episode is not so uncommon too!


yadbhavishya said...

Galli la Lolli - II on its way!

Ragz said...

Man Dude (somehow your curiosity about this kind of addressing interests me)
Nice one, had me stiffling for laughter in a full lab with the airforce episode. Quite a "top gun" eh! Well for all the addressing my the mama, reminds me of a few characters with curious greeting styles in Santoshnagar. Good one again

Kalyan said...

its okay with the modesty, but indeed a cool blog:).

Gandaragolaka said...

aandyo! aadyo! but where is it?

Santoshnagar, I believe, is known for another "thing" as well if I remember... so many tales woven...

So you saw through my false modesty!Anyway, thanks!
Katthi photo blog, of yours!

Karmasura said...

"his voice seemed like the braying of a confused male donkey mistakenly caught up in menstrual problems."

very funny.. so where's the story writer these days??