Parso kya hua maloom??

OK... A small excursion to the reality admist the dreamy and lofty world of poetry...

It's about 10 mins of walk from where the bus stops to my home. It had just rained that friday evening. Rains are quite common in Bangalore (especially in May.. dont ask me why!). I got down from the bus at about 7 PM, and started walking from the bus, feeling relieved that finally, I am going to my place by the shortest path. There are so many T-junctions in Bangalore that if you miss your lane, you will end up going twice the distance... obviously, not every city is as intuitive as Hyd!

And know what?? There was a huge water-body right in my path. I couldnt see the road for a distance! Ok.... so what do I do? I search for an alternative route. Nope! all roads to the other side are submerged under Indra's fury (or actually Bangalore's inefficient open-drain system, but then Indra has been blamed so many times in our mythology that it seems he takes these accusations better than Bangaloreans do!). So seeing no other way, I remove myself to a side of the road and start wading through the water--biggest mistake! Again the open-drain effect! Now, I am in almost thigh-deep water. hmm...
A minor setback though! Strategy rethought-- this time, I started going right through the middle of the road. This worked. I got to the other side in about 10 mins (which might have taken about 2 mins usually).

Spirits soared and I was actually sort of happy about that incident which my mind had already started blowing up into a huge adventure--"Wow! Now, even I can tell others how I braved flash floods in Bang!" Well, the elation lasted only a while.

A little background will help the readers here--
I am staying with my undergrad (CBIT) friend in the room upstairs. He was presently out of station, and his elder brother's family was staying here for the weekend. They were presently not at home.

Back to our story--
When I reached my place and unlocked the door, it wouldnt open! I tried pushing it a bit, but clearly, it was locked from the inside. ..Shit!
Then it started raining again... Shittier!
And then, the power went off.. Shittiest!!
With my jeans and shoes already drenched with the drainage water.. there was little I could do... Went to the bakery nearby, ate something, and then spent sometime in the Ganapathi temple opposite to my place, mosquitoes performing the function of "shruthi box." Not a good feeling... nobody to call, no place literally to stay away from the rain, and the temple was to be closed by 8 in the night. I started to curse my fate, my luck, and those people living at my place. How could they lock the door from the inside? Dont they know I live there?

After a while, when the power supply was restored, I spent sometime at the internet cafe (The musicindiaonline player wouldnt work there, so I couldnt listen to classical ... but thats a minor event). At about 10 PM, I called my place, and they were back-- Thank God! My friend's sis-in-law took the call.

"Hi, this is Kedar.. I had come home by 7 actually, but the door was locked from the inside, so I couldnt get in."
"Oh.. but we didnt even go upstairs" (yeah right!).
"Oh, then may be I locked it by mistake" (you can see how desperate I was to get in!).
"Oh ok.. I will unlock it."
"Thanks."

So I came home... I went straight upstairs, but found the door still locked... what the ___??
Anyways, the lady called me in from her door. I went in. She told me the door wasnt locked at all.. I suggested, may be its bolted at the bottom. She allowed me to go up through the inside and find out whats wrong. I went up to see what exactly was wrong--To my surprise, the door was really unlocked-- I pulled it a little harder and vola! It opened! It was stuck because of rain! It was clearly one of the most flabbergasting, jaw-dropping events of my life in Bang! All this "taapatrayam" for nothing?? All that time spent cursing my fate... for nothing... you stupid ass! fool! nincompoop!

I can still clearly see (perhaps as clearly as Frodo saw the eye watching him when he was near Oroduin) the lady's face when I told her what actually happened. Hatha Vidhi!! All I could think of saying was---

"Swalpa adjust maadi!"

Kedar.

After I was alone in my room, I had a really good laugh about the whole thing, and celebrated my "story" by watching maaya bazaar.. again!

Siva Pujaku

"Siva Pujaku chigurinchina" is one song in the movie Swarnakamalam that I really identify with. Set (mostly) in raga Valachi, it symbolises a person's efforts to bring a talented woman to the right path.

I liked the first stanza so very much though all I could do was to translate it to the firangi language! Its been more than one and a half year now.

So here goes:

Padamara Padagalapai Merise Taaralakai
Raathrini Varinchake Sandhaya Sundari
Tuurupu vedikapai Vekuva Narthakivai
Dhaathrini Muripinche Kaanthulu Chindani

Nee kadalika chaitanyapu sreekaaram kaani!
Nirunchina HrudayaravaLi Omkaaram kaani!

And my take:

Lured by the glitter of stars
Upon the crests of the west
Do not espouse the night,
O fair maiden of twilight!

Be the awakening dance
Upon the altar of the East
And send forth such radiance
That'd hold the world in trance.

Let your movement become the genesis of awakening!
And dormant rhythm of the heart, the eternal sonance!

The Lone Tower

The Lone Tower

Lone tower, bright and tall
Over the planes of the world
Ever alone, yet never lonely,
At peace with the world.

Doves dwelling in his chambers—
Doves not few, many—
Many more perch and fly away
Without fear or despair.

Yet, a time there was, quite different,
When the tower was dwarfed
Amidst titans, engaged in higher purposes
Lonely in the crowd, the tower could only look on.

Crows and vultures feasting
On the leftovers of titans
An occasional dove aspiring for the tower
Chased away by vicious calls.

Years rolled away,
The storm of time, blinding all—
Many a thing, changed,
And many a lesson, taught.

And when the tower opened his eyes,
The world was strangely fair and new,
Fresher was the breeze, and farther, the sight.
And the titans—None were there!

Yet, there they were—
Only, too small to be seen.
Whether they shrunk, or he grew,
A new era was come.

A single dove, the tower’s love
Descended onto the roof—
Relief! Comfort! Merriment! Elation!
Luminescence! Enlightenment!

--Kedar.

Note: "Search for a Lost Dream" and "The Lone Tower" were revealed to me on the same night. Of course, I modified them a little bit later. If the lost dream had some rhyming, this one has absolutely none.

Search For A Lost Dream

Search For A Lost Dream

O forgotten Orchard of my Lost Dream!
I invoke thee—
Come to life! Come to life!
I invoke thee!

I reminisce—
The swaying branch, The Mellow Shade,
The Yellow Blossom, and The Red Fruit.
Yes! I do remember The Trickling Rivulet!
And The Vine beside, Laden, also!
Birds—Yellow and Green, Black and Blue,
Chirping away Gossips of all hue;
Squirrels chasing Unseen Foes,
Caching Berries, ever on toes
Gourmet Butterflies, colouring the scene,
Drunk Crickets, lazy and lean;
An Unknown Tune, always chiming,
With my ecstasy, always rhyming,

O Gaia, Fairest! Thy child yearns for Thee!
Once more to Thy Bosom, wilt Thou not lift me?
Never again, shall I forget thee,
I shall spend my life hallowing the reverie!

Apology—Accept my apology!
Heed to my plea—
Pardon me! Pardon me!
Allow me in! Allow me in!
Grace me again! Grace me again!
I invoke thee!
--Kedar.

The Amazing Keats

So Junta.. this is it! I mean it.. this really IS it! I dare you to feel this way if you aver that you ever loved someone in your life! I double dare you...!!

To Fanny

I cry your mercy--pity--love--aye, love!
Merciful love that tantalizes not,
One-thoughted, never-wandering, guileless love,
Unmasked, and being seen--without a blot!
O! let me have thee whole,--all--all--be mine!
That shape, that fairness, that sweet minor zest
Of love, your kiss--those hands, those eyes divine,
That warm, white, lucent, million-pleasured breast,--
Yourself--your soul--in pity give me all,
Withhold no atom's atom or I die,
Or living on perhaps, your wretched thrall,
Forget, in the mist of idle misery,
Life's purposes,--the palate of my mind
Losing its gust, and my ambition blind!
--John Keats

Keats's passionate feverish love for the flirtatious Fanny Brown (apt name considering her character!) in his failing years erupted in the guise of this poem. He was only in his early twenties when he wrote this poem and twenty-six when he died.

Osmania biscuit V "Le Nallakunta connection"

"Strange!!" roared Kasturi Satyanarayana in "Aha Na Pellanta" which became the regional chant of AP for sometime. After so many years another personality said it in exactly the same way when he discovered something truly fascinating! There may be a scientific explanation for it, but he doesnt care, whats fascinating is fascinating, and thats it!

Good ol' Lingam is at it again!

He discovered that--
everybody who is living in Hyderabad, has or had a relative in nallakunta area.

And he argued with 12 people and finally proved by the sheer force of the conviction in his voice and of course, Osmania biscuit (which could convince 11 of them that he was right!). If someone said he doesnt have one there, Lingam argued that he may not know of that relative at all, or that he might be dead. No way around that logic. Some learned person even suggested that his discovery wasnt a particularly great one, since Nallakunta is one of the older and central areas of Hyderabd, and lots of people want to settle there, but he wouldnt listen.

I heard he is even planning to publish his discovery in a journal. I hope his osmania biscuit will make him see the truth...not "his" truth... but "the" truth... atleast once in a while.

Kedar.

Osmania Biscuit IV "Hallucinative Hypochondriac"

Shit!

Appalling injustice!
Totally unwarranted!

Here I was, solemnly taking bath today with the sweat manjira water sent to Hyderabad, and suddenly, I was reminded that all this was soon to end and I will find myself drawn into a war two feuding states of India. The very water that I am going to bathe with is going to be claimed on the other side of the border as theirs. Perhaps someone thirsty may be looking for a gulp of water on an unforgiving summer afternoon. What if something happens to him? Will his people leave me? Or will they thirst for vengeance? Perhaps they will leave me alone, seeing that I am not a native, or perhaps they will hack me down (and sell the body parts labelled as "chops ahoy!" at walmart) knowing that I come from the land of "anna".

I suddenly feel like John Connor of the Terminator series who unwantedly leads the human resistance against robots. But they were only machines, but these are...

Where the heck is Lingam Yadav when I need his advice??

Shit!!


Kedar.

Point of inflection

Point of inflection

Upon the high seas of tumult
On sails a ship, frail yet valiant
Propelled by will and guided by purpose
Though obscured by dark clouds

The tides of the sea, ever daunting
The isles of mist, ever eluding
Rocks hidden, ever revealing
The ship, still, sails on...

Ever and anon, the clouds are torn
Sun shines clearer, winds turn sweeter
The ship built anew, a phoenix reborn
It forges ahead while unrests retreat

To sail upon the seas with command
To command upon the seas with the sail
To vanquish the haunting demons
To enslave the enemy, now so frail

But Lo! The ship crashes into a berg
Hope stutters, faith falters, wind turns to gale
The clouds return with thunder and hail
While the dazed ship begins to quail

A tide, vicious, leaves the rudder aghast
A storm, wicked, tears through the sail
A bolt, infernal, breaks asunder, the mast
The ship, disillusioned, stops in its trail

Which path is right, which is Wrong,
Fleeting shadows of the same illusion all along
Which way matters, which way doesnt?
Whence thoust come, whither thoust go?

Naught achieved till now, than sweat of thy brow
Of what consequence is to brave the knave's blow
So thinking, to the inviting storm, it turns around
The journey abandoned, yet towards darkness bound.

Kedar.

Osmania Biscuit III -- Lungi Imperatrix Mundi

It is not an unknown fact that the bourgeois Indian male wants to exude a sense of confidence, style, masculinity within affordable limits, and is constantly searching for ways and means to solve this rather difficult problem involving linear programming and operations research for centuries. And yes, he has found a solution long ago and it is still in use today. It appeals to a surprisingly large cross-section of people cutting across religious and socio-economic backgrounds, from outgoing and humble 70s people like Sudhir R. to the artistic and dextrous Chandu "Flute" T. of the present lot.

Yes brethren! I am, in fact, talking about the one and only... lungi! But this post is not dedicated to any of the entities mentioned above, nor to the bangra-obsessed punjabi folk, and also not to the sambar species of the south, but to our own hyderabadi chahush people of the old city. They have incorporated the lungi in their attire with such sense of fashion and nativity that would put even Armani or Versaci (RIP) to shame. They have added the greatest accessory to the lungi others cant even dream of.. a 2-inch leather belt! And add a colourful porous vest to that, and Vola! You have the attire complete! This is the single most influential achievement of the Hyderabadis with respect to fashion. Who says we aint got style?? We left Bangaloreans way behind long ago.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language( Fourth Edition 2000) has this entry under lungi:
A cloth, often of brightly colored silk or cotton, that is used as a piece of clothing, especially the traditional skirtlike garment of India, Pakistan, and Myanmar (Burma).

An independant search revealed surprising facts about this ingenious invention--first of all, this is not an Indian invention at all! Next, it was invented by a woman named Lungi from Sicily!!

Long ago, a family in Sicily was in the service of the Roman Empire, with its roots traced to pre-christian Lithuania, and one of their maidens was Lungi Neslaaska, who was later called Lungi-I. This invention is generally credited to her, as she wanted to save her man (well, atleast the parts really mattered for her) from the excessive heat of the Sicilian summer. This invention was kept as a family heirloom and a secret. Then, after about two hundred years, Lungi Veskonnava, from the same family called Lungi-IV, in her gratitude and magnanitmity, is forver remembered and adored for revealing this secret to public. At around the same time, the great Atilla the Hun invaded the Roman Empire, and came to know of this precious garb. His empire stretched from Eastern Europe to Caspian sea, and there was a great flow of Ideas to and from the west during this time. The Lungi gradually found its way into the midle-east, and then Indian subcontinent, and even South-East Asia.

This History is generally accepted and was first published by an Italian jewish enthusiast Sabi Pehno. But Indian right-wing nationalists insist this is a purely Indian invention, and cite several passages from some upanishads which do mention its name, curiously, although this is rebutted by main-stream lungi historians as spurious, as these upanishads were written or forged after the advent of lungi only to paint this invention as Indian. But later on, some Multi-lingual Indian discovered that the whole history of Lungi was actially forged by Eurocentric racists of the nineteenth century-- Neslaaska and Veskonnava (names of two of the Lungis) have the same meaning in two different Indian languages--"Did you wear?" though, the theory was suppressed and did not receive any publicity outside his native village. Nevertheless, since lungi made its grand entry in India, it was accepted as one of her own, and is sure to stay for a long time.

Oh, and by the way, the present Lungi is Lungi-XLII and her maiden name is Lungi Shakeelava.
And finally, the title of the post "Lungi Imperatrix Mundi" means "Lungi--Empress of the World".

If you dont believe this story, you have to believe atleast Lingam Yadav, because as everyone, by now, knows:
"Lingam Yadav doesnt lie when he is eating Osmania Biscuit."

Kedar.

Osmania biscuit-II "The grand disillusionment"

Order... the basic premise of the universe and the ultimate goal of every system. Order is essentially bound by a set of concrete principles aimed at preserving it and maintaining its continuity. You were born within the perimeter of those rules, grew up within those rules, thought, played, ate, drank within those rules... and then suddenly you find that rule is broken and no longer in effect. The human mind cannot accept such harsh and blatant truths hurled at it calmly. It naturally denies it at first, dismissing it as a figment of its imagination, then enters a region of compromise as a glitch within the system, but when rule is being broken daily, the mind is consigned to disbelief, melancholy, and disllusionment, all fighting for their share of torment in the mind.

I experienced exactly such a situation when I noticed city busses with route numbers like 434, 430, or even 900!!! I always grew up with the notion that bus route numbers can NEVER go beyond 299... but here they are. And no one says a thing!! Such callousness... such non-challance...such lethargy of our Hyderabadi people speaks volumes about our attitude towards the rules of our very own system. I bet if this had happened in Mumbai, Chennai, or Kolkata, there would have been riots and CRPF would have been called upon... but NO! not here! Call it stoicism, call it poker-faced mentality... I would never accept it, and I know who ever is reading this empathises with me.

Finally, I would like to point out to those readers who dont look from my point of view.. well let me tell you I am not the only one who feels this way Good'ol Lingam yadav also shares my perspective.. and readers, you poeople have to believe him at the least because....

"When Lingam Yadav is eating Osmania bisuit, he never lies"

Kedar.

Osmania biscuit-I

Ok! listen up...

Every once in a while, when all the astro-geo-psycho-physical conditions are met (and you will be suprised to know how often these conditions are satisfied, the proof being the mount of information dished out by raving lunatics like, well, yours truly!), I will come up with something on Hyderabad and/or not Hyderabad (if a contradiction and a tautology appear in a single sentence, is the result not a contradiction again?).

In view of its 400 year old history, architectural achievements of the qutub shahi dynasty and the fact that kohinoor was "born" here, I have decided to aptly name the series on Hyderabad "Osmania biscuit."

Once there was a grocer in a Hyd lane named Lingam Yadav manning hyper-protectively, his ancestral fortress of his shop and still selling those antique eatables such as gottams and of course osmania biscuits. But he was especially famous for his talks during late afternoons when all the jobless folk gathered around his place for a chat. He told them totally unbelievable stories of how he saw a nizam king swim the musi on the back of an elephant, or how he was attacked by giant birds of prey while walking near Mir-Alam Tank. Nobody used to believe him, and they were of course blatant lies, until he showed them the absolute proof.. and it really was an absolute proof beyond doubt...
"Everybody knows that when Lingam Yadav is eating Osamia biscuit, he never lies," he used to say. For new aquaintances of Lingam Yadav, it may seem strange, but it really is true! He never lies while eating Osmania biscuits!

So folks, before you sleep tonight, remember the only sentence in this whole post that matters:
When Lingam Yadav is eating Osamia biscuit, he never lies!

Kedar.

uber!

1)Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkein
2)Catch-22, Joseph Heller
3)1984, George Orwell
4)To Kill a Mocking Bird, Harper Lee
5)The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
6)Animal Farm, George Orwell
7)Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
8)The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
9)Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie
10)Zen and the Art of Motocyle Maintenance, Robert M Pirsig

Once, there was a God-fearing citizen in a village. He had everything--money, fame, a god-fearing wife and two god-fearing children. One day, an ascetic came to their house asking for alms and predicted a great predicament upon their house. They called him in and asked his advice. He told them some pujas and vratas to perform. In return they graciously offered him some gold coins, some clothes and some grain. While this was going on, the youngest son noticed something weird with the beard of the ascetic, and pulled at it.. and Lo! and came into his hands... that ascetic was a charlatan! They kicked him out of the house and they all thanked God for revealing them the truth in time. From then on, they decided not to trust any ascetic who come to their door. One day God wanted to test them, and he went in the form of an ascetic and asked for alms..they called him in, and offered food which he graciously accepted and blessed them a long healthy and prosperous life, but secretly they were all looking at his beard. Then while he was starting to leave, all of them suddenly lunged on to his beard... it didnt come off, but the ascetic (God actually if you remember!) got might angry and cursed them to a mean lowly life from now on. It turns
out that even the blessings of the God-ascetic became useless and the charlatan-ascetic was right after all!

Oh and By the way, the ten books mentioned above are the top ten widely read books of the twentieth century.


Kedar.

Wrath of a Goddess

I have stood as a silent testimony of the unrelenting fury of a Goddess one day at a forsaken place in Himalayas. For more than 1200 years, I have chosen to accept with outspread arms all the dark incidents of that day, to remain as an objective observer, for therein lies my doom laid on me by the Goddess.

I am a lake situated at an altitude of about 5000 metres in the Himalayas, sacred to Goddess Nanda-Devi. I am, now, ordained to open the secret pages of the history that none knew before...

A large family of more than 500 travellers came along with some natives towards me. I knew not whence they came, and where they were heading to. They camped at my side that day. After a while, I heard a wail from one of the tents and out came two men, and after them, there came out stumbling shape accompanied with heart-wrenching cries . She took the shape of a young native girl...the same girl whom I had noticed for her heavenly appearance when she had come earlier.

The girl went to her elders, but they chose to keep quiet as the travellers belonged to a higher status. Then she went to the head of the travellers to plead for justice. They were enraged at the girl's audacity to talk of such a matter directly to them. They took no notice of the girl and ordered the natives to abandon the girl as she apparently went mad. She was laughed at, cursed, and insulted.

The girl, enraged at not only her violators, but her own people who failed to protect her, cursed herself at her inability to defend herself. She failed to understand why the Goddess she loved had forsaken her. She wiped her tears, went up a hillock and yelled out, so that all can hear, infernal curses laced with such vitrious venom and intoned with such destructive power that no one could endure her ghastly voice at that moment. They could see their doom upon them writ clearly upon their faces. The bravest of men crouched with fear and closed their eyes and women and children huddled together as the monstrous wind of the Himalays mingled with her horrendous voice created a demonic echo that laid bare, for a fleeting moment, a sample of the power that lay hidden the deep vaults of the very Earth eager to reassert itself, and the ground began to shake with the power of her petrifying curses. The wind howled like a hungry warg and dark clouds expedited themselves into a vortex at the summons of the power of her intonations. Could this be the end of this world? Has the destroyer opened his third eye? Nay... to them, it seemed worse than that apocalypse that would engulf everything that exists in all of the infinite universes.

Then, she, laughing and dancing, as in an impassionate trance, went near a deep gorge and with a shriek, unendurable yet everlasting in my memory, offered herself to the Goddess and those that saw her fall then knew she was dear to the Goddess.

It started raining, and they realised it was no ordinary rain. There was a condescending laughter of an infuriated Goddess in the lightning, and the wind brought unutterable curses from forbidden lands into their very lap. The rain, later, revealed itself into its actual gruesome form as a hail-storm from the other world. They were being pelted with hail-stones bigger than any-one had seen before. One by one, people started falling dead on the ground. Women, children, aged... the fury of the Goddess recognised none. In a short while, all the people there became victims of the fury of the Goddess. I bowed my head to the unsurmountable supremacy of the Goddess... once again!

Yet, this incident lived on for centuries... in the folk songs sung by native women who still remember the avenging fury of the Goddess.


Kedar.
P.S.: It has been recently proven that the a group of people travelling near the lake Roopkund up in the Himalayas were killed by a killer hailstorm with giant hail stones.

Irony of Mother Nature

Once upon a time, there lived some organisms on a planet. They use to breathe- in a gas they called "the-good-gas" and breathe-out another gas called "the-bad-gas". They were all happy, content, and too innocent to notice that "the-bad-gas" was accumulating in the atmosphere at a really fast rate and that meant danger to them. Now, there was this slave creature that fed on what these organisms breathed out, and gave out "the-good-gas" and since it was different from them, no one used to really pay attention to it.

By and by, "the-bad-gas" got accumulated to dangerous levels and these organisms started dying. The slave took this opportunity, and consumed a lot of "the-bad-gas" and grew so strong it started replicating and creating more of its kind. Some other stupidly inert organisms saw this chance and invited these slaves into their cells and let them have their way. They grew in power, and strength and even joined together to form newer creatures. They soon staged an easy coup and started ruling the planet. The first thing they did was changed the name of "the-bad-gas" to "the-bad-gas-which-is-actually-good", and that of "the-good-gas" to
"the-good-gas-that-is-actually-useless".

Time passed on the newer creatures discovered that they were aging and dying far too sooner than the earlier organisms. Investigation pointed out to the slaves that took "the-bad-gas-which-is-actually-good". When they work, they also produce some by-products that are really harmful and cause aging. And so, the name of "the-bad-gas-which-is-actually-good" was changed to "the-bad-gas-which-is-actually- good-but-causes-aging"

In another ironic twist, someone discovered that "the-good-gas-that-is-actually- useless" can be used to make a kind of ice that preserves things and keeps them cool.
So they changed its name to "the-good-gas-that-is-actually-useless-but-proven-to-be- really-useful"

Finally, one day, a sensible creature came up and changed the names of the two gases to "oxygen" and "carbon-di-oxide" respectively, which meant "necessary evil" and "useless tinsel" respectively in the language of its country. Ironically, it died soon afer because of toxic fumes containing "carbon-di-oxide" emitted by the machines that were the new trend.

Kedar.

Akhallabeth

Akhallabeth...means "she that fell"...title of the story that tells of the fall of Numenor (a huge isle granted to those men who fought against Morgoth in the past ages) under the rule of Ar-Pharazon the Golden when he violated the rule of the valar. Then, Illuvatar, the One, rose in anger and so, the isle of Numenor was broken and forever consigned to the depths of the seas....

Akhallabeth... thats the title I have chosen to give to an episode here involving a young girl who ran away from her parents' house with some guy...lets see what happens later.

Kedar.

first post

Lets see where this goes... lots to post, but no patience as of now!!